So while I am not thrilled to be diagnosed with diabetes at the tender age of 43, imagine my surprise when I stepped on our new electronic scale and saw that I had lost 8 pounds since my diagnosis a mere 3 weeks ago! I suppose it only stands to reason considering how recently food has lost its appeal for me. That's what happens when the only carbs you get to eat taste like cardboard and they wad up in your mouth with every bite like tissue paper. Yum -- NOT. While my BMI still technically classifies me as "obese", it is slowly inching towards the less obnoxious sounding "overweight" category which is infinitely less demeaning to my already battered self-esteem.
So I guess there is kind of a bright side in all of this, just in the nick of time too since my children have started calling me "fat". To explain, there is a new t.v. show called "Huge" starring Nikki Blonksy, the portly girl from the movie "Hairspray". It's a drama series about a bunch of obese teenagers. The pilot episode was a free download so I figured, What the heck? It was like watching a horrible car accident -- I couldn't turn away. Of course my 3 1/2 year old kids were watching over my shoulder with me in complete fascination. When it was over, my daughter asked me why everyone on the show was fat. Then she astutely pointed out how I was fat as well.
It's not the first time she has called me fat but in the past we have had discussions about how calling someone fat is a rude thing to do. But that was before my diabetes diagnosis. This time when she called me fat, I withheld my initial response which would have been to chastise her. My darling husband immediately stepped in and reprimanded her. However, since we had just watched an entire t.v. show about fat people, the evidence was inarguable. My darling daughter lifted up her shirt to show me her concave belly. Then she proceeded to explain to me how she was NOT fat because her belly didn't stick out like mine. In the midst of this heated discussion, my poor little son tried to mitigate the rising emotion by explaining that my tummy stuck out because they had stretched it when they were growing inside me. (God love him for trying but that was over 3 years ago and the statute of limitations for that excuse has long since expired.)
My dh was still furious with her but I still had to give pause. I mean, the reality is, my BMI is over 30 and I have diabetes. Really, aren't I, um, ACTUALLY FAT? How terribly confusing it must be for my poor children to see these huge actors and actresses on t.v. who are so open and honest about being fat yet their mother before them takes offense at the same terminology. They're 3 1/2 but they're not stupid.
The most I can do is be honest about how it hurts my feelings to be called fat, but I can't deny the obvious truth. And after seeing the surprising number on my scale yesterday, maybe I won't be called fat forever.
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